Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
