mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
