Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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