i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Randomize