Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize