So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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