I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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