fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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