Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
