i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
