I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
