You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
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