I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
There r osticjed everywhere
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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