Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
