I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We are two peas in an std pod
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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