It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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