Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
