Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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