she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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