if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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