I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
