Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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