Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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