you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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