god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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