i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just blew my weed a kiss
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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