Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
