90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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