I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
