Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
