the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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