Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
