Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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