Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
