Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize