have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
