Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
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