I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
