My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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