Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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