And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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