Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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