The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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