u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize