You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I will pee on everything he values.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
