so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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