My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
