What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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