The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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