My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
