i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I look better un-naked...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
