just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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