Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
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