i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
