i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
