he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
sex in a hospital.. check
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
