Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
