Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
