also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
